It took almost five years to conceive our son. We miscarried prior to conceiving him and struggled with infertility. We had a rough pregnancy with more than one miscarriage scare and ultimately a delivery at 36 weeks. When he was delivered, we were shown the full knot in his umbilical cord. He spent a few days in the NICU. Since his birth, I’ve always been waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’ve been told that this is pretty common for parents who struggle with infertility.
I had surgery shortly after he was born to remove a hematoma that built up behind my c-section incision. I had this horrible feeling that I would die during surgery. The surgery was uneventful and I’m still here.
Yesterday, I took our son to Children’s Hospital in Littleton, CO to have a heart murmur checked out. He has hemangioma’s. These spots have been part of him since he was a few months old and have never been much of a concern to his primary doctor. We did have a liver scan done early on to rule out any internal issues. So, when the murmur was brought up at his 18 month appointment, I tried not to panic. I actually did pretty well up until the appointment. When we arrived at the doctors office, the nurse and medical assistant attached some stickers to him and did a quick EKG. As you can see, he has sensitive skin…even a bandaid will give him similar marks.
The doctor came in to talk with us and mentioned that the EKG (which wasn’t very clear due to a squirmy toddler) made him question the left side of his heart and he wanted to get a clearer picture. So, off we went to get an ultrasound.
Unfortunately, our son isn’t one who likes to sit still for very long. I’m not sure there are many that do. So, despite the cute movie playing on the tv and the flashy patriotic wand that we tried to distract him with, we spent the next 10-15 minutes (which felt like 3 hours) trying to keep him still. This resulted in a sobbing toddler and a frazzled mom. Eventually, it was finished and we went back to the room to wait for the doctor’s results. THIS is when it really hit me. What if there really is something wrong with his heart? I can’t put into words how I felt. I can tell you that I had to keep myself from bursting in to tears and my stomach was in knots. After about five minutes, the doctor came in to explain the results. He didn’t see anything that would be cause for concern. He explained that it would be considered an “innocent” murmur and that we will continue to monitor his heart at regular doctor visits. Apparently, these often show up on toddlers between two and three years old. He just happened to be a few months early for it to appear.
Next up, a visit to a dermatologist to look over the hemangioma’s that we had hoped would resolve on their own after a year. I expect this appointment to be much less dramatic.