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How to tell if your girlfriend is cheating wikihow

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Being in a relationship means taking a risk by opening up to someone. That sense of vulnerability can be damaged by cheating. Having to cope with a cheating girlfriend may be extremely difficult. The sensitive situation must be treated with respect to yourself and to the relationship in order to handle it with the best intentions for you.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Hey Stupid... She's Cheating On You! 10 Signs She May Be Messing Around


How to Know if Your Girlfriend Is Cheating on You

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When you've been hit with the news that your girlfriend has cheated on you, it can be hard to handle. Nothing rocks your sense of trust and honesty like finding out about infidelity. You may be struggling to understand what went wrong and why she did what she did.

Before you jump to reacting or making any decisions, carefully consider and gather information to help inform your decisions. Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Article Edit. Learn why people trust wikiHow. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice.

There are 15 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Investigating Her Motives. Moving Forward with Your Relationship. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Part 1 of Consider relationship factors. For some people, cheating occurs due to an unsatisfactory relationship, not because they are perpetual cheaters. The more unlike partners are, the more likely the relationship may experience infidelity.

Factors such as education level, personality, and lifestyle can influence the fidelity of the relationship. Sometimes you may really love someone, but cannot manage to meaningfully connect. Assess whether she felt underappreciated or neglected. If she feels like she is acting out a practical role and not an intimate connection, she may feel unfulfilled. Ask yourself if you've been treating your girlfriend in a certain role.

Have you shown your appreciation for her in what she does for you and the relationship? Do you tell her and show her your attraction? Have you told her you love her? Discuss the cheating. You may find out about the cheating from your girlfriend or from a friend. If she confronts you honestly, then listen to her. If you found out through someone else, consider this person's credibility before confronting your girlfriend. If you think you have the truth, confront your girlfriend, no matter how painful it may feel.

It is best to know the truth. Set aside some time with her and try and approach the discussion calmly. Come prepared and write questions you have for your girlfriend. Tell her you are concerned and want to truthfully know what's happened. Ask about what happened, how the situation occurred, how long it's been happening, how much time has elapsed since it stopped, and if anything is wrong with the relationship. Encourage honesty and openness, even if it hurts.

Express your feelings. Perhaps you may want to express your anger and rage prior to discussing the cheating with your girlfriend. Write down all the anger, hurt and frustration you feel-- without fearing judgment from yourself or someone else-- then burn it.

When you are ready to discuss the cheating with your girlfriend, don't directly accuse her. This is a time for you to express your feelings, not place blame. Part 2 of Examine her personality traits.

Some people are more prone to cheat than others. Individual factors can include personal values, moral compass, empathy, and impulsivity. Question whether the cheating was done to hurt you. If she is angry at you for something in the relationship, she may use sex or cheating to get revenge. Ask your girlfriend whether the cheating was used for revenge or to make a point.

Ask about situational factors. Sometimes people who would normally not cheat end up cheating. This can be due to environmental factors such as being around many attractive people, or having a job that involves touching or one-on-one discussions with people.

A partner can be very happy in a relationship, yet get caught up in a situation against better judgment. She may be willing to say she got caught up in a situation. This can be especially true if you believe the relationship to be happy and she does too. Remember that people do make mistakes, this just happens to be a very large one. Question whether cheating was an escape. Some people use alcohol to escape their problems. For others, it may be too painful to confront problems either individual or relationship problems and may instead escape through other methods, like cheating.

Instead of facing problems, she may use the thrill of cheating to feel better, while not fully considering the consequences. Ask her if there are things she wants to say or express that she feels shame or embarrassment in bringing up. Inquire whether the cheating was a way to let go of the relationship. Some people stay with a partner to feel supported or loved, yet have difficulty letting go when they realize they are not in love.

Your girlfriend may have realized that she was not in love, but stayed to get certain needs met. Or, her needs may have changed but she was scared to let go of the relationship. Ask if there's a part of her that doesn't want to be in the relationship. Part 3 of Decide whether to break up. If you feel like the damage is irreparable, or that you cannot ever trust your girlfriend again, break up. Know that moving forward as a couple will be painful, and you may have constant reminders or triggers of the infidelity come up for you.

Consider whether you can move forward with her, or if you will be better off breaking it off. Both are painful choices.

Build a new foundation. If you decide to stay together, find ways to reconnect in new, meaningful ways. Perhaps you still love and care for each other but struggled to express it to each other. It is possible that other factors of life began to take importance over your relationship. Together, determine to contribute to the relationship in meaningful ways. Realize that it's not just the job of your girlfriend to make things new; you will need to contribute to creating a new foundation as well.

Especially if you continue the relationship, learn to forgive your girlfriend. Forgiving your partner does not mean she gets a free pass, or that her behavior was okay.

Forgiveness takes the focus away from the offense and acts to free yourself from the pain of the situation. You may feel like a victim or powerless after hearing the news of cheating; forgiveness allows you to reclaim power over your own emotions. Forgive your partner in a way that allows you to feel free from the powerlessness, to validate your own emotions, and then let them go. Let it go. For more information, check out How to Forgive a Cheater. Consider relationship boundaries.

Talk to your partner about what constitutes infidelity and create clear boundaries. While most people agree that sex is considered cheating, others may consider flirting, touching, kissing or intimate conversations cheating. Be clear on discussing boundaries with your partner. If you and your partner choose to have an open relationship, be clear on the boundaries of that as well. Cheating can still happen within open relationships, and trust is important.

Reach out for therapy. If you agree that the relationship needs work and that you want to stick with it but don't know where to start, seek counseling. You can attend couples counseling to help you ways to rebuild trust, find ways to cope with the betrayal, and build a new relationship together. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Alcohol during the act of cheating should not be used as an excuse, but you should also consider that your girlfriend may not have been thinking clearly.

Cheating in Relationships

Cheating is a common phenomenon. Every year approximately 10 percent of married individuals admit to having an illicit affair. Those rates rise for couples under 35 years of age. Before you tell your loved one that you have cheated, choose a private location where you can have an uninterrupted talk. Then, tell your partner about the affair using direct and truthful statements and avoid long stories or explanations.

Updated: April 29, Reader-Approved References. Fortunately, there are ways you tell if your girlfriend could be cheating.

There is no such thing as a relationship that is immune to cheating. Ideally, this is something that you and your partner both abstain from, but the reality is that nearly half of relationships experience cheating the number could be higher. If you have cheated on your partner, then you will both need to decide if staying in the relationship is the right decision. To do this, it will take open and honest communication between the two of you, regardless of the outcome.

Know If Your Girlfriend Is Cheating on You Quiz

Which of the following is not an indicator that your girlfriend might be cheating? True or false: If her friends are acting distant and uncomfortable around you, it's likely that she's cheating on you. True or false: It's a bad idea to be straightforward with her and talk to her about your feelings concerning your relationship. Which of the following is a good way to test whether she might be cheating on you? The fact that she wants to hang out with you and your friends shows that she wants to learn more about you and become an integral part of your life. It doesn't mean that she's cheating on you or is no longer interested. Less communication, however, is a sign that she might be unfaithful. If her friends are acting strange or unusually distant toward you, that might be because they know something you don't. This weird behavior is a good indicator that she might be cheating on you.

It can be hard to get your partner to admit they are cheating. Listen carefully to what they have to say and look for inconsistencies in their alibis. If your partner uses simplistic language and few self-referential words to excuse their absences, there is an increased likelihood they are cheating. Be empathetic and make your partner feel they can confess.

When you've been hit with the news that your girlfriend has cheated on you, it can be hard to handle. Nothing rocks your sense of trust and honesty like finding out about infidelity.

A cheating boyfriend or girlfriend is something we worry about. Not everyone cheats. From time to time, these worries are unfounded.

Updated: March 28, References. Infidelity in a committed relationship is a serious breach of trust. Regardless of whether or not you think you can get away with it, if you're tempted to cheat on your partner, you should first consider whether or not you want to be in the relationship at all. You may have fallen out of love with your partner, or you may not be in the state of mind for a monogamous relationship at the moment; either way, the best thing you can do is leave the relationship before betraying your partner.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Signs she is a cheater!

Updated: May 6, References. Do you suspect or know that a supposedly monogamous partner has cheated on you? You are not alone. Between a fourth and half of all attached partners will cheat or have cheated at one time or another. Knowing others are affected too, however, does not lessen the hurt.

Updated: December 17, Reader-Approved References. There are few feelings worse than suspecting your boyfriend is cheating on you. But if you start to feel like something is off in your relationship, you're better off knowing the truth than worrying about the possibility whenever you're together. Determining whether your guy is cheating on you doesn't mean you have to start spying on him, though. Just keeping an eye out for some warning signs can help you figure out whether you should continue to trust him. If you're worried that a guy is cheating on you, there are some red flags you can watch out for.

You've seen the signs and your mind is putting the pieces together. If you're 3 Ways to Catch Your Cheating Spouse - wikiHow Is He Cheating, Cheating Spouse, Find out if your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you.

Updated: March 6, References. If your relationship is on the rocks, you may suspect that your girlfriend is seeing someone else. This can be a difficult period, but how can you know if your suspicions are real, or just paranoia?

Updated: February 28, References. You have a lovely relationship, but suddenly you start feeling that something is wrong. You feel your partner has changed.

You may be wondering if your boyfriend is being faithful to you. Maybe he is treating you differently, spending less time with you, being super secretive, or not putting effort into the relationship anymore. However, it is best to examine his behavior, ask him questions, and look for evidence before you accuse him of cheating. In addition to changes in his routine, watch out for new behaviors, such as moodiness, secrecy, paying more attention to his appearance, or picking fights.

Updated: February 5, References.

Updated: June 23, Reader-Approved References. Even the most loving, trusting relationships are sometimes plagued by periods of doubt. If you've found yourself worrying that your girlfriend is harboring feelings for someone else, it's very important to to make sure that your suspicions are justified before acting on them. Looking for certain subtle hints in the things she does, the things she says, and the way she acts can help clue you in to her true feelings.

Every couple goes through hard times at some point. If your gut is telling you that your spouse is cheating, advocate for yourself and be proactive in discovering infidelity. Look for clues before you confront your spouse. Also, ask practical follow-up questions when you think they might be lying to you. Become fairly certain that something is going on before you confront them.


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